A hike around the world, to plant new life,
when we have lost loved ones through suicide.
Every life has its measure of suffering.
Sometimes this is what causes our awakening.
A journey through time
What is - What happened - What will be
The Videos and the links behind MORE>> are not translated yet, but I work on them :-)
WHAT HAS BEEN ACHIEVED SO FAR
At the end of 2017, the idea TREES of MEMORY became the non-profit association
TREES of MEMORY e.V.
In 2019, the association was able to offer its first contact points for bereaved families after a suicide.
In the meantime, 14 regions can be covered. Still far too few.
But a start has been made.
Both, I and the association conduct various multimedia lectures, workshops and training courses for schoolchildren, journalists or police officers.
These deal with suicide prevention as well as how to deal with bereaved families.
Active membership in the Frankfurt network for suicide prevention
The annual World Suicide Prevention Day event "Every Kilometre Counts" and a stand in a pedestrian zone to offer advice.
The association has its own stand at various trade fairs to sensitise people to the issue of suicide and to advise those affected.
Over 30 appearances in the media and broad public relations work
30 TREES OF MEMORY planted
Many hundreds of talks throughout Germany
The association, as well as I, still have many plans and we are still only at the beginning. But what has been achieved in just three years I would never have thought possible.
... and by 2022 at the latest, we will be moving on to our neighbouring country Austria.
All this would not have been possible without your support and without your belief in me and the association and those who work for it and do it for free. For this I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.
You carry me through the world and through life and give us the courage and strength to support those who see no future at the moment.
Thank you so much for it!
If you have time and want to listen to a podcast, you can listen to the Semicolon Project podcast by Sven, who let me speak in a great podcast. In the podcast you can learn a lot about Trees of Memory. (but it is only in German)
If podcasts aren't your thing, you can read, watch or listen to the following important stations about me and TREES of MEMORY.
Have fun :-)
Trees of memory on a path around the world.
Trees in remembrance of people who have not survived depression and suicidal tendencies.
My walk is intended to give courage to those who are affected. Those trees are to encourage those who are fighting against their depression demons.
I am hiking and planting to raise awareness in society that everyone can be affected by depression and suicidal tendencies.
Each of us can help friends and relatives with little effort.
It does not take much to save a life if those who are affected get help in time.
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AT 9
My mother was underage when I was born. My father was Italian. She was subsequently taken to a convent and later forced to marry a German.
My stepfather was an alcoholic, a bricklayer, he drank a case of beer with 20 bottles almost every day at work and a bottle of wine at home.
My parents beat me through childhood. My mother with a carpet beater, my stepfather with his fist.
At the age of 9 I had my first thoughts of suicide after being beaten half dead. I couldn't and didn't want to live anymore. I tried to take my own life in the quarry.
In 2011 I collapsed completely unexpectedly and I was diagnosed with severe depression.
This was followed by six months of inpatient therapy, followed by weekly therapy sessions.
In 2014, on 28 December, at nine in the morning, I ended my life.
I was found by my boyfriend at that time. I was successfully resuscitated.
At Easter 2016 my boyfriend got into an argument with me and refused to have his severe depression treated.
I went to Berlin.
One day later he took his own life.
STIGMA OF SUICIDE
The world had ceased to exist from one moment to the next. I knew that my whole life had been torn into millions of pieces and that there would never be a way back.
I was called a murderer and shunned by Jose's friends. Friends and acquaintances disappeared just like that.
Many did not know what to say. The silence became an indictment for me.
I cried for six months through the day and the night. Fed on nothing but medicine.
With every day that passed, I wanted to live less and less. I just couldn't go on any more.
LIFE SAVING MEANING
I was in the shower when the idea of TREES of MEMORY suddenly popped into my head.
I thought that I would finally go crazy.
It took me some time to understand that I had a meaningful thought. A sense of meaning that changes everything.
I felt that I had no other alternative. Either I do this or I will be dead in a few weeks.
A few weeks later I presented the idea to the Frankfurt Network for Suicide Prevention and was not laughed at, but supported.
I still had 18 months to prepare.
CROSSING THE THRESHOLD
After I went public with my idea, a storm of positive responses swept over me in the internet.
I received more than 140 invitations worldwide for the time I am on the road. People from 13 countries ordered a tree of memory.
Sometimes I was incredibly scared and sometimes I was extremely euphoric.
The press reported only three weeks later. Newspaper, TV, radio, internet.
I knew: There was no way out of this.
Not everyone supported me. Other organisations were afraid that I was taking something away from them.
From January 2018 I gave away and sold everything that was in my flat and cancelled my contract.
I no longer own anything.
PROVEN AND TESTED
On 31.3.2018, the 1st TREE of MEMORY was planted opposite the European Central Bank in Frankfurt, with the participation of almost 80 people who came from all over Germany.
Together with 20 supporters I started hiking. In the evening there were still five of us. For another seven days my friend Hans hiked with me,
then I was alone.
Newspaper articles appeared and in the first week three trees could be planted and I received some invitations to stay overnight.
My hiking trailor broke down on the very first day, after about 10 km, and it took a week to repair it again and again.
Mentally I was stopped again and again by an overpowering enemy:
I was always afraid not to go through with this hike. My body showed me boundaries that I did not want to see.
But the worst warrior in the field is loneliness. It eats me up deep inside and tears sometimes small, sometimes big pieces out of my
heart and soul.
This has not changed in the last three years. Like my whole life, I am drowning in my emptiness. The winter storm is raging all year round and my cries are drowning in the noise that noone hears
After three years I know what I am capable of.
TREES of MEMORY touches many people and the circle of those who deal with the topic of self-help is getting bigger and bigger.
With every kilometre I hike, the publicity of the non-profit organisation TREES of MEMORY e.V. increases.
More and more people affected by the illness seek our help. We are present at various events.
From this year people recognise me on the street, talk to me, invite me, tell me their story.
It is not important to have millions of followers. It is important to touch the heart of the individual who needs help.
I never thought that TREES of MEMORY would do so much to me. The many days, weeks and months that I walk alone through nature changed me.
I have learned that I get most of the answers in silence. The so-called forest bathing helps with inner reflection. What others experience on the Way of St. James, I experience every day on the road.
I draw more and more strength from what the people I meet reflect back to me and only because of this I am able to reveal and give everything of myself.
My book #mental health book is the result of the discourse between me and the mental traps. Maybe you recognise yourself in it.
My work as a funeral celebrant is the result of my desire to reduce pain
to soothe and comfort.
My activity as a coach,
is the sum of everything.
I need financial help to manage all what it needs to make TREES of MEMORY a helpful support for grief and loss and hope.
Please write in the transfer purpose which sponsorship you would like to support.
1. dog food
2. Food & drink
3. Camping site fees
4. Replacement articles
5. health insurance
7. hiking boots
8 . rechargeable batteries for my hiking trailor
You can also donate without taking on a sponsorship too.
Even 1 Dollar is a great help to me to keep going.